Christ, I felt so lame saying that! I smiled at her as she rose and followed me down the bleacher steps. When we went through the doors, I realized th...t we were still holding hands and I was still smiling. I turned to her and saw that she was smiling, too."I'm Jim but my friends call me Rum", I told her. Her reply was just as lame. "I'm Janet." I felt that at that moment I didn't want to say anything else. I just wanted to hold her hand and just...be. I think they call it being in the moment. I. I lay there for hours crying and screaming in my grief. Eventually, sleep—merciful sleep—came to me. MP stayed with me the entire time, sleeping in my desk chair or on the floor. She refused offers from my parents to relieve her.Days passed and I was no better. Finally, the time for her wake arrived. Seeing her there, lying so peacefully in her coffin was agony for me and her funeral was even worse. I threw myself onto her coffin as they lowered it into the ground. I wanted to join her—be with. I was getting tired of having to cover your mouth so your moans wouldn't be heard by everyone else I the house," I said laughingly."I'm Really horny! I don't think I can wait another 2 hours till we get to the hotel." She said as she squeezed her thighs together her hand buried between her legs."Well, we can make a quick rest stop and at this time of night if were lucky I can sneak you into the men's room stall."I really didn't think she'd go for it. Deb was always worried about getting caught. Her husband had tried to be her lover, but it seemed the more he pushed for her response the more conscious she was of the deadness inside her. If she allowed herself to look inward, she could almost see the dried husk of something, a decaying, shriveled, mummified remnant of the woman she once was. She had learned not to be introspective; the horror was too much to bear.She hated this part of herself, this dead thing inside her that her husband demanded she share with him, that the world.
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